January 22nd, 2007 8 Comments » | View blog reactions
You might be one of the thousands men and women who suffer from the Classic Motorcycles Bug, without knowing it. Answer the following questions to learn if you have it, and afterwards learn a few proven methods to reduce your condition’s influence on your everyday life.
- If you see a piece of rusty tube sticking out of the ground, Do you consider that it might be an old basket case that just need to be dug out and restored?
- Do you get all exited if you find some gray lump of metal that resembles a part from a carburetor in the back of the shed?
- Is all your issues of Motorcycle Classics neatly sorted and kept in acid free plastic covers that will preserve them for 500 years?
- Do photos like these of a 1953 Vincent Comet make you all misty?
- Are the words springer, rigid, girder, mousetrap, foot clutch, or cast iron, tattooed anywhere on your body?
- Did you know there where motorcycle brands named: Nimbus, BSA, Royal Enfield, Norton, Matchless, and NSU?
- Will black and chrome always hold a special place in your heart?
- Do you wear a half helmet with leather ear flaps and aviator goggles at all times when venturing outside?
If your answer is yes to just a few of these questions, I’m sorry, you’ve probably got it. But don’t despair, many people live perfectly normal lives suffering from the Classic Motorcycle Bug (also known as the CMB Syndrome). A couple of basic techniques exists that can help you retain a normal well functioning life with family and friends.
1. Attend swap meets with a chaperon.
When attending swap meets, invite a friend who has no interest in anything two wheeled what so ever. People suffering from CMB Syndrome attending swap meets together are known to work each other up into a parts scrounging frenzy, cleaning out entire swap meets for every used part older than two weeks. Dragging along a totally uninterested friend will keep a lid on things.
2. Keep you garage space limited
It is a common misconception of people with CMB Syndrome, that you should have as much garage space as possible, to store your wast collection of priceless vintage parts and motorcycles. In fact you should have the very opposite if you intend to keep good relations to the outside world. Having limited unoccupied garage space, you’ll be forced to only keep the most valuable parts and stick to just one project at a time. Which mean you’ll probably get out more.
3. Turn on safe Internet surfing for motorcycle addicts
Frequently searching sites like eBay for vintage motorcycle parts is a typical addiction for CMB Syndrome victims. Keeping browsers clear of online gambling and adult content websites has long been a choice available to the concerned and responsible. But no means have yet been taken to cater for the needs of CMB Syndrome victims. There is however a partial solution that can take the edge of the problem. A plugin called greasemonkey for FireFox in combination with a profanity script, lets you replace forbidden words with stars (*). So what you do is add words like: classic, motorcycle, parts, springer, aris, bates etc. to the profanity list and auctions searches becomes a lot less tempting. E.g. ******* triangular **** headlight for sale (you might want to add headlight as well depending on the severity of your condition).
Using these simple but very efficient techniques like will make living with CMB Syndrome a lot easier, both for you and your surroundings. Because, besides the urge to ride these vintage no mentionable breaking power marvels held together by wires and gasket paste, the Classic Motorcycle Bug is not a deadly condition, but can have a tremendous impact on your life if you’re not careful.
Take care out there, and remember you are not the only one. Oh! and by the way if anyone has an early style cast iron mushroom shaped S&S velocity stack cover, I’d be happy to hear from you.